Positive
When covid became known my husband and I agreed we would do whatever it takes to keep the kids safe. My husband is a respiratory therapist, probably the worst job to have if you want to be away from covid. But he is quite extraordinary and has kept us all safe. I was pregnant, before the vaccine came out and terrified. We never took any chances, stopped going indoors, didn’t see a lot of friends or family. Only did outdoor things and always had masks on.
It got tough when my older two were old enough for preschool and kindergarten. We were so focused on their physical health that we didn’t focus on their mental health. How to do both was and still is a challenge. My recommendation is you talk with your doctor, find out what’s at stake. Then talk with your partner and decide what are your limits of risk. If it happens what will you do, how will you take care of the kids if you get sick or vice versa. We really don’t have help and the thought of risking the baby was just not something we wanted. So we found outdoor, masked options. When our older child turned 6 the Pfizer vaccine came out so she was able to be vaccinated and we decided to have her join public school, when they were masked classes. Our younger daughter was able to join a masked outdoor preschool.
Everything seemed to be working out. We had a few colds but no covid. And best of all both our older children were in school, making friends and learning. I was beyond grateful to be able to give them some joy in such dark times. Slowly things seemed to feel like we had a groove going and that’s always when life changes things around. Suddenly because omicron surge seemed better they quickly made masks not required, but recommended. Suddenly my kindergartner is one of 3 kids with a mask inside her classroom. I panicked and definitely dreaded the change. I had just hoped they would give us till the end of the school year before changing things. Even our pediatrician said to keep masking inside don’t change.
A few weeks went by and people seemed to think the pandemic was over, I rarely ever saw a mask in sight. Then we saw covid positive cases happening. Which, honestly of course they would when no one is masking anymore and doing things like before COVID. But I digress, soon my daughter’s teacher was COVID positive, and she doesn’t mask inside the classroom. I was worried so we pulled them both out of school for the week. Then two weeks later, the week before the last week of school, another classmate tested positive for COVID. Out of caution we pcr tested. Not thinking much, because we just had gone through this two weeks prior, my oldest daughter’s test came back, but it was positive for COVID! I was shocked, scared, and angry. My daughter is vaccinated, she wears her mask all the time (inside and out), she knows about keeping her distance, why did she get it? I don’t know if any other students tested, but I’m still so disappointed for her. She missed her last week of kindergarten, and her kindergarten graduation party. Once again the COVID pandemic has taken more from her and it’s crushing my mama bear heart.
On the positive note, and yes there are a few! She has been asymptomatic, which is so great because I’ve been terrified of her getting very sick from COVID. As for my younger daughter and the baby, we are still waiting for their PCR test results, but they’ve been asymptomatic as well. My husband and I did have symptoms: body aches, fever, chills, nausea, diarrhea, head aches, shortness of breath, and so weak I couldn’t get out of bed on the third day of symptoms. I’m sure I didn’t have it as bad as others, but it wasn’t fun. We are both vaccinated and have one booster shot. But for whatever reason we both tested negative? I’m still kind of confused. I didn’t make up these symptoms and I couldn’t have gotten a random bug when my daughter who has not been isolated from us is COVID positive. But for whatever reason we haven’t. Our doctor thinks we may just have gotten a smaller viral load so it doesn’t come up as detected, although our symptoms do appear that we did get some amount to cause some sickness.
Part of me was hoping to have all of us be positive so I could give us a little break of being cautious. Yes, to be I suppose irresponsible and just let the kids be outside without their masks and go play with friends, go to the community pool and not worry if several people are there. I wanted that freedom. But when we tested negative I felt like that was taken from me. And I have been quite angry about it. Thankfully I have a great partner and he helps me slowly calm down. We do hope to be a little more open with outdoor play, but also those vaccines are supposed to be reviewed very soon, and we had always said that once the younger two can have some protection we will live a bit more. I’m not saying we wont care, it just means we will feel better about upping the risk because we will all have been vaccinated. We still will wear masks when indoors and crowds, but I do look forward to feeling like we can be mask free outdoors and with vaccinated family and friends that are cautious too.
So from one mom to another mom, take a deep breath. I hope you avoid COVID, and I hope your children avoid COVID. Another huge positive note from this experience is how lucky we are to have so many wonderful friends. They really showed up for us, in such a wonderful way that made me feel like we weren’t alone in all of this. From flowers delivered, door dash gift cards, door dash meals delivered when we didn’t feel well to cook, multiple donut deliveries, home test kits dropped off, hand written get well notes, chocolate croissant made especially for my oldest for her last day of school, and all the texts and calls to see how we all were doing and that they would be happy to help with anything we needed. I was very overwhelmingly surprised and so grateful for all the love and kindness. For such a hard and dark time, I sure felt the light and love upon us. Thank you everyone! So it did have a positive outcome after all, and for that I’m incredibly grateful.
